Stay at home mom

What is a Stay at Home Mom (SAHM)? Well... a mom who stays at home with her kids, right? You get to play all day with toys, laugh and giggle, build forts with the couch cushions, nap whenever you want, sit around on Facebook, watch chick flicks, and of course drink wine all day, snacking relentlessly, like some sort of end-of-world event is about to happen. ----- Well, you've sort of got that half-right. I am a mom. I do stay at home. I do get on Facebook. I get to play, I get to rest. However, some things are not true. I do not drink. A mom who drinks alcohol while her children are awake without at least one sober person present, is an idiot. Sorry if you fall under that category. But really, if you trust in yourself to get intoxicated in front of your children, you're an idiot. If you have an adult with you (like perhaps, a sober husband or friend) who is willing to watch the children in the event that you can't, then yes, I don't think it is terrible. However, be warned, if your children get caught drinking out of your liquor cabinet or at a party, don't come to me with a look of shock, sadness, and dismay. You did it. Not me. We are role models for our children. They're like little human sponges, and a lot of the stuff they absorb as toddlers, they carry with them to adulthood. Even I am learning from this. While I don't drink, I make unhealthy eating decisions, I don't say "excuse me" when I fart, and I don't shave my legs every time I shower. I don't always stay at home. Yes, I'm a stay at home mom. But I'm also responsible for grocery shopping, clothes shopping, shoe shopping, trips to the park (most of which I WALK, because my husband has the car), photo sessions, outdoor education. ((Example, what color is that house? How many cars do you see? And so on...)). As much as I'd like to stay home ALL DAY, I'd get bored. The kids would get bored. And I'd probably be fat. Not gonna lie. My house is small, its not like I have room to do cartwheels with the kids. I don't watch chick flicks. I'm not ready for my children to learn or ask questions about kissing, sexual intimacy, or domestic violence. Surprisingly there is a lot of domestic abuse, whether it be emotional or physical, that is then portrayed as comedy. As an adult, we can laugh, because we know better. Children don't know better. If they laugh at it now, they probably think its okay for adults to hit each other. It's not. Don't expose them to this stuff. I rarely nap. I use the time to edit photos, chat online, get some adult interaction in. Sometimes I tidy up, sometimes I'll wash a few dishes or do a load of laundry. And in those rare moments when the kids are in a deep sleep, I might even shower. And if I'm even MORE lucky, I will shave! My bathroom sits neatly nestled between the children's rooms, and I wouldn't be shocked if my walls were cardboard, and the splattering of water, gargling of my hair-clogged drain, and my beautiful singing might wake them. So its a rare occurrence. Snacking? well, sometimes I do. When they're napping. But any mom knows, that if you eat something, the kids need some, and by the time they're done garbling away at your food like piranhas, you might get to lick the drooly crumbs off of your fingers. Might. If you have fingers. The moment they hear you crinkle that ding-dong wrapper, or hear the crunch of a Dorito as you hide in the linen closet. They will find you. They will wine. They will scream. They will devour you. But I'll warn you, the moment you make dinner, they'll have no part in it. So be prepared! Facebook. Yes. I get on Facebook. A LOT. Its one of the few things I can do while watching the kids and interacting with them. It is also one way I can keep in touch with MANY family members, my mom's side, my dad's side, and my in-laws. I can post pictures of the kids, talk about the silly things they say, and share that joy with others. I'm not there for drama, or for the stupid games (those of which MOST I block, until they make new ones...grr). I'm there to share my love. Share my joy. Talk to other moms who know what I'm going through. Being a stay at home mom is far more complex than people give it credit for. Yes, I do everything. Yes, I take care of the children. I teach them, they teach me, I follow their lead so they can learn what they're interested in, I keep them clean, I keep their clothes clean for approximately 2 minutes after I put them on, until someone pukes, or poops, or urinates themselves, I keep them fed, I worry about their nutrition. I struggle to get them to eat. I struggle to get them to nap. I struggle to keep them happy. I want to give them CHILDHOOD. Childhood is so short in comparison to adulthood. While I want them to be prepared to leave the nest, I know a large portion of what they learn will be by making mistakes. They will learn in their own way. My main focus is to teach them as they grow, but still give them childhood. Joy, happiness, innocence, and sometimes ignorance, like not knowing about sex, drugs, alcohol, and murder. They'll figure that out when they're older. They don't need to worry now. Let me worry. I am mom. I will worry for them. There is so much. To me, going to work AND raising kids would be hard, however, going to work would be a getaway. You get to interact with adults, you get to think clearly, you don't get filthy, and if you do, you're actually getting paid a decent amount to do so, which helps. My advice to you is, if you know someone who stays at home with her kids (or even a stay at home dad!) Give them a hug. Tell that parent how wonderful it is that they do what they do. Offer them a hand, but don't be shocked if they say no. Some people don't want the help. Some people don't need it. Ask for playdates, offer to babysit, and NEVER EVER ask them out to girls night/guys night if you KNOW they don't have a sitter lined up. If you don't know, don't ask. Unless you havent planned it yet, because they'd have to plan ahead. If you do plan something, make sure you plan an event where the kids are involved. You can still have fun with kids around. All parents are hard working people. ALL of them deserve these things. All of them deserve help. However, give those stay at home parents a boost of morale. They sacrifice their friendships, their careers, and even themselves, for their children, and that really says a lot. (Not saying that all parents don't sacrifice, you have to in order to be a parent, but SAHM's sacrifice a little differently. ))